INVESTORS PAGE

Hey Wannabe Show Business Investors! Looking for a place to launder your crooked millions?! For a relatively small sum you too can be a Big Shot Broadway "Backer." Being a Big Shot Broadway Backer entitles you to:

1.) Get free tickets to your play any time you want.  2.) Abuse the director to impress your date.  3.) Make creative suggestions to impress your date.  4.) Bark at the actors to make yourself feel better.  5.) Hang around backstage and gossip about the playwrights.  6.) Wander the lobby and imagine all the sex that has gone on in the bathrooms.   7.) Free dinner at John's Pizzeria.   8.) A sweet percentage of the box office take. (Assuming someone comes.)

In addition to the above, as a Big Shot Broadway backer you also receive:

1.) Bogus literary credibility and the possibility of being interviewed by Joe Franklin.  2.) A special t-shirt with a Dukes Of Hazard logo. (Size S, slightly soiled)   3.) A handful of dirt from where Buddy Holly's plane crashed.  4.) 2 Gibson guitar picks, slightly used.

So what are you waiting for? For a mere microfraction of your show business millions you can have all of the above and more. Nothing is more cool and prestigious than fancy New York Theatre and here is your chance to impress everyone who thinks you're an asshole! Use our show to jam it down their throats! Serious wannabe play investors only. No two party checks or sacks of pennies.

We thank our current investor!

Contact: Broken Gopher at BrokenGopher@hotmail.com www.brokengopher.com or call 970-590-1132. You won't regret it! Well, let's face it. You probably will.